The current behavior for how Revit handles families with the same name when loading families vs inserting views/groups is outlined here: https://www.autodesk.com/support/technical/article/caas/sfdcarticles/sfdcarticles/New-family-created...is a huge bottleneck for users when inserting drafting views for use in projects.
We maintain these views separate from our models due to quantity, and load as-needed per project. The issue arises when families are updated: the desire is to load the updated detail families into the details file, and then update the project families by loading the detail. As indicated in the link, that's not the case and Revit automatically duplicates the families.
Understanding Revit isn't AutoCAD, the behavior in AutoCAD is that when a block is inserted the block takes on the properties of the same named block in the drawing unless the palette option is used to Redefine Block. It would be great if the behavior could change to match the Insert Families behavior, but that may not be desirable for all outcomes. Instead, having options to choose how Revit handles families loaded through insert views and other dialogs would be ideal.
I would suggest 3 plausible choices:
1. Use the family already loaded in the model
2. Overwrite the family in the model with the loading family
3. Duplicate the family
