all the work around fixes are great and thanks for sharing your pain and success.
we have experienced what you posted on a previous project.
1) avoid copy monitor Light fixtures from the Architects model- they don't own them.
2) always place hosted light fixtures in a ceiling plan view to avoid the previous issue.
3) only if necessary create a reference plane to align and place your hosted light fixtures
4) we use non hosted light fixtures and avoid more issues than then with hosted
the Benefits are :
we dont lose instances of light fixtures if the ceiling is deleted
we don't lose circuiting if the ceiling is deleted, we assign the correct offset from the level
we don't experience multiple coordination review errors from linked models, inherent from copy monitoring.
we avoid duplicating light fixtures or other families when orientation is incorrect
If the Architects change the ceiling height I only have to adjust my offset in those specific areas
I hope this helps
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thank you