Hello, and thank you for the suggestions!
Regarding the tag, it works, but it is not smart. I can't set condition formulas in a tag to make it read what kind of extinguisher it is and choose a pictogram based on that, so they would just need to be selected manually, which kind of defeats the purpose of a tag. Also, scale in tags seems weird. Granted, the objects are pretty small (fire extinguishers), so the symbols for them are also small, but not smaller than the extinguisher itself - so if it's possible to draw the 3d object at its normal size, with tags it seems it considers a different scale, as drawing the symbol with linework resulted in the "element too small" error. I could use dwg symbols inserted, but I don't like going through a third party software to make revit work.
Regarding setting the pictogram family as nested, and assigning it a different category, you can't do it with detail item families - they can only be that.
Regarding setting a different object subcategory, I would have liked this best, as the project this is on is huge and finding a category that is not use anywhere else would be risky (same with using view detail level), so being able to create a custom subcategory would have been great. However, it appears filled regions (which is what the pictograms are basically) also cannot be assigned a subcategory. You can assign it to linework, just not filled regions (or masking ones).
As a workaround, I could create the pictograms from extrusions instead and give them a cover pattern override. I will most likely do it like that, as this seems the only smart way to do it - everything else is basically manual 2d work.
Edit: I just saw how you went around the detail item family issue by nesting it in a regular family. Another great way to force revit into submission on things it should do willingly, thank you!
Edit 2: I tried to use the nested-in nested family try with my detail items and assign them subcategories. It's not working - closing either the category or subcategory did nothing. It worked when I nested a generic annotation family like Toan had in his example. Sadly you can't assign it subcategories - or I didn't figure it out, so the category way seems the only one for now.