I wonder if something might not be right with your Revit installation. Are you talking about offset of the dimension row from the object itself, or the distance between each row of dimensions?
If the later, subsequent rows placed above or below, should be controlled by the "Dimension Snap Line Distance" under the Dimension Type Properties. If the former; Yes, that's always been judgement call for the drafter, and never really finalized until sheet setup time. It's always being tweaked; not based on Ansi Y14 Drafting Standards, but based on what looks good on paper.
