There are a few tools out there that meets your requirements.
- MICLOGIC (Great features, itm parameters can be live or manually pushed. There's a free version and a paid version. Created by a knowledgeable guy in our industry).
- BMA FabTools Revit Plugin - BIM-MEP AUS (bimmepaus.com.au) Automatic tag placement, Bi directional parameter mapping. You can change the shared parameter value and it updates the itm value or visa versa. $100 Australian dollars.
- DiStem Bundle for Autodesk Revit - productivity Revit Plugins by DiRoots (Allows you to map any parameter. Its free but its still in Beta, there are some bugs mostly for hanger rod lengths).
I would read up on each one, the Miclogic has an attacher arrow similar to CADMEP that shows which way up your fittings are, so this would resolve your other issue.
