Hi Jordan,
I hope you're doing well. So far all of your answers to the questions I have asked are checking out correct. Now we have to go deeper, do you have any special network configuration? Anything beyond a basic home internet connection is open to discussion so please let me know.
What type of Graphics card are you using? In another post a user was able to fix his startup issues by updating his video card driver.
What anti-virus do you have installed? In the past Kaspersky has not been too friendly towards EAGLE so disabling may help us see if there is any interaction there.
Lastly, in the past EAGLE and a program called RoboForm did not get along at all. If you have an install of this program can you disable it temporarily?
Any and all information you can provide will help us figure out what is going on.
The last thing I would like to request is if you post a screen recording of you starting EAGLE. You can use the screencast tool from here:
https://knowledge.autodesk.com/community/screencastLet me know if there's anything else I can do for you.
Best Regards,

Jorge Garcia
Product Support Specialist for Fusion 360 and EAGLE
Kudos are much appreciated if the information I have shared is helpful to you and/or others.
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