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I am also experiencing issue with this. This distribution is not one that we typically work with... since you said you deal with it fairly often I was wondering if you found a solution? It is frustrating to see that this is not a built-in function of Revit. There is no way to specify in Revit which will be the wild leg.
While there is no way to specify wild legs for electrical circuiting, you can control the circuits themselves. Once an object has been circuited, you can move the circuits via the panel schedule up/down or left/right.