Here is the problem, as a MEP consultant for an Architect Autodesk does not believe MEP should have any control over ceilings. When an Architectural model is linked the only option you have of coping are levels, grids, wall, and floors. NOT ceilings. So the only options you have applying a light fixture is to just place it in a space and therefore have to MANUALLY control its coordination to the ceiling height. Or create a surface based fixture, which seems to work best, it will at least coordinate and move with the ceiling. However the only fixtures that have the ability of cutting and opening in a ceiling is a ceiling based light fixture, which WILL NOT attach to a linked ceiling. It is actually kind of funny because the MEP 2010 tutorial has a linked Arch file and instructs you to insert a ceiling based fixture, which is impossible. I have contacted Autodesk about this for the last two year and their response has always been the MEP (lighting designers) should have no control over ceilings since it is an architectural element. The same problem happens when Mechanical tries to install duct registers.
So here is the WORK-AROUND. Create your recessed fixtures, go to 'Categories and Parameters' and check the box for 'Work Plane-Based'. this will allow you to attach the fixture to the ceiling. Be sure and change 'Default Elevations' to "0" under 'Types' as this controls how far off the ceiling will be offset. As far and having the ceiling cut for Recessed fixture, you have to hope and pray that the Architect goes back and cut openings in the ceiling for you. I hope this helps.
The Fix: Autodesk need to include ceilings in the Copy/Monitor function. This would create a monitored ceiling that will coordinate with the architects model. It will allow MEP users to then create ceiling based light fixtures that would be capable of creating openings for recessed light fixture.
Other Reasons for Copy/Monitoring Ceilings: With the ceiling being liked there are some other problem that need to be considered. (1) Ceiling based families will not attach to linked ceilings. The problem with this is we all would like lighting manufacturers to create libraries for us. How are they supposed to know that a light fixture that attaches to the ceiling should not be created as a ceiling based light fixture as per template. Recessed fixtures have elements that are above the ceiling, particular recessed indirect and recessed downlights. Ceiling based light fixture are the only lighting families that allow for opening to be created in the ceiling. (2) Surfaced based fixtures. Although this does fix the coordination problem, it leave a MASSIVE coordination problem. If the architect does not go back (wasting time doing a redundant task) and cut holes in the ceiling where you have placed fixtures you loss the ability to calculate. Since a MEP space only calculates as far as the ceiling even thought there are many devices and fixture that end up in the plenum space. For example, if you a room that has 13ft between first and second floors and your ceiling is at 10ft' and your calculated space offset it set to 12ft the calculation space has be cut by 2ft, it stops at the ceiling. Now you install surface based recessed indirect 2x4 fixtures. Unless the architect cuts 2x4 openings in the ceiling the fixtures will not schedule. Revit will not find them for switching schedules lighting calculation schedule, since the recessed fixture is in the 2ft of plenum space that is above the ceiling. This is a HUGE program error.
I hope this help.