As Im sure you know, the graphics adapter in laptops are far slower than desktop pcs. This is the biggest reason your refresh rates are slow.
Im an architecture student as well, and have been very happy with my Q6600 8gb and Xp x64, and a Geforce 8500 using Quadro NVS 290 drivers. I started with 4gb ram, but once I started working with larger scenes, had to make the move to 8gb(when rendering final images, 4gb goes fast). Probably one of the biggest performance increases I saw when using 3ds was when I added a second HD in raid 0,1.
I would suggest getting into a medium grade Quadro FX card, or a higher end GeForce, maybe 8800 or higher. While the 8500 has been sufficient, I do wish refresh rates were a little better in large scenes.
Also take into consideration what you are planning to do with the rig. Do you want to freelance vis when you have free time(as if you can ever leave the studio)? You can easily find a small cluster/render farm using ebay for <$400, which will GREATLY improve your render times.
So, my suggestion for a rig would be: Core2Quad, 6+ GB RAM, XP x64, Quadro FX or 8800+, dual SATAII HD's in RAID. When you're moving between Revit and 3ds, you will be very happy with the performance of quad core(bim can become very processor intensive as well as 3ds). My rig cost me ~$500. I already had the case, monitors, keyboard and mouse.
Hope this helps. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. ryangalliford@cox.net
oh yeah, as far as too many polygons in your scene: there are never too many if all of them are necessary.
and build your own pc.