Hi again VicariousEnt,
To answer the first part of your post, yes, the option to export in 2010 format will be available with the 2013.2 plug-in. You'll find it in the drop down menu under Adanced Options of the FBX presets.
As you said in your post, it is really only Maya, Max and Softimage that let a user decide whether a light emits diffuse and/or specular. Since FBX is a plug-in that is meant to transfer data between many softwares including MotionBuilder and Mudbox, only the physical light properties (i.e. color, intensity, cone) were considered when the scope of the plug-in was being decided. That isn't to say that a future version of the plug-in will not have the option, but for now it isn't possible. I will talk to the lead developer to see if a suggestion can be logged to have it done for a future release.
In the meantime, there are a couple of things you could do, although they are perhaps not easiest to implement:
1. You could write an Extension to the plug-in to add functionality to the original.
2. You can define some custom user properties to control the emissions, but you would still need to run a script (mel/maxscript) to connect the emission properties at moment of importation. The plug-in can handle custom properties, but it won't be able to handle the expression linking the property to the light attributes. The script should be pretty simple to write, I was able to get one working in Python for Maya without to much difficulty. I'm including it here, one locator controls diffuse and spec emission for 6 spot lights.
import maya.cmds as cm
allLights = cm.ls(lights=True)
for light in allLights:
cm.connectAttr ('locator1.DiffuseEmit', light + '.emitDiffuse', f=True)
cm.connectAttr ('locator1.SpecEmit', light + '.emitSpecular', f=True)
Hope this helps,
Carlos