Can't help with the filenaming, but I have had to deal with similar situations in the past, and I feel your pain...
I have seen and used many different methods, but none were really great at everything.
One company would create different AutoCAD Profiles for each client, with shortcuts to launch AutoCAD (with corresponding profile) in the project folders. Another company had some really customized document management software, but it still had some issues.
In my personal experience, in the end it all boils down to good, strong, flexible, conscientious, responsible CAD users who understood the differences, and how to apply them, and did their best to try to accomplish it. Some companies had those people, some didn't. (Some had MicroStation users who had no concept of the value of a standard, much less how to apply it... I was glad to get out of there.)
One solution that I personally though helped out pretty well was to set up and use .dws standards files.
It really helped the drafters and designers with the day to day stuff, and as CAD Manager, it was nice to be able to do a batch check across a project and see the trends of problems.
Also, communication with the entire team, not just CAD. Up front kickoff meetings to go over the expected standards, things to really look out for, stuff like that. It tends to open up engineer's eyes to the level of internal detail involved with day to day CAD, and can also hopefully help share the responsibility for standards with the entire team, not just CAD. If the the Proj Manager puts the responsibility on everyone, and the engineers know some things to look for, it can make for a much better team effort.
This approach also helps with some of the "difficult" CAD users who don't want to care so much. If they know everyone on the team is looking for things, they tend to be more careful. (Unless they really do just stink at their job, but then this will separate the good from the bad, and makes it easy to show costs and ROI to management when it is time to make cuts....)
The hard part of this is to get a PM who "gets it" and is willing to put it on the entire team.
Good luck!