"The caps have nothing to do with shouting" - Don't worry, it's only me and the rest the internet that disagrees with you.
" a Nvidia quadro fx1700 with the latest 64bit driver" - don't risk using this driver until everything else is stable. Use whatever Autodesk advises here:
http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/cert?siteID=123112&id=16391880
Tip: don't go looking for a Suite, if you have one. Just look for plain AutoCAD and fx1700
Also, looking at your system specs, they look rather outdated. Even a couple of years ago they would have been decidedly minimal. This may not be a problem, depending on your usage & requirements. In my case, my Construct files are about 1-10mb each, but i use a lot of Xrefs, with anything up to 45 loaded at once. Everything's very stable in these conditons, but I usually crash when the Undo history gets too big after about 6 hours non-stop. My task manger often tells me I'm using all 8gb of my RAM, which is why I'm upgrading to a system with 16GB in a couple of weeks. I've had a core2 quad (3ghz), 8gb ram and a 8800GTX vga card for the last 4 years. Do you want to buy it? It's better than yours.
"I do not know anything about what it is running that is the IT stuff we aren't allowed to even mess with it." Talk to your IT dept. and gently try to explain that the CAD department is not some glorified typing pool. Running CAD systems well requires getting under the hood from time to time. IT doesn't always understand or appreciate this. If you explain about slow Qsaves, etc. they might give your connections more priority or better permissions or whatever it is they do. Dedicated server sounds like a good idea.
Is acad configured for networked support files (ie in Options>Files) ? These could be badly out of date. Keep everything local whilst you are troubleshooting. Run projects from local copies if possible (but be careful)
I think your biggest problem is trying to use 2009 data in 2012 projects. Templates, system definitions, etc. just aren't happy being updated. Cutting & pasting everything into a new drawing based on a 2012 template sometimes works, but it's a bit of a blunt instrument. My advice would be to run MEP2009 on your 64bit system until your current projects are completed. Any new projects will use 2012 templates, etc. It's more than likely that a lot of your 2009 data can be satisfactorily updated but each information type (libraries, styles, layers, etc. etc.) will have to be individually assessed on it's own merits.
Altenatively, you could just recreate your project from scratch within the new system. A good draughtsman shouldn't be afraid of some dull labourious Tracing. And all the thinking and design work has already been done.
"send me an official email" Shall I enclose an official Invoice?
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Intel 7740x - Quadro 6000 - 32Gb RAM - CADmouse - Logitech G710