Open Max
Make all the above changes, save the scene as Maxstart.max
in your default scenes folder. That scene is automatically loaded when Max starts, or when you do a File > Reset.
Note that if you make use of the Project Folders feature you will have to manually copy (or load and resave) that scene in the new (project-related) scenes folder.
Notes.
The "home grid" has nothing (directly) to do with sizes. Altering the grid will not change the scale of the scene. You should be looking to the System Units (and possibly Display units) in Customise > Units Setup.
Angle Snap setting should be retained in Maxstart.
Zoom - saved in Maxstart, though if your System Units are correct this may not be necessary, you'll just have to try various settings and see which work best for you.
"J" and "F4" are also saved in Maxstart. They mirror the settings in the Viewport Configuration dialog. Note that they are per viewport, not global.
Maxstart is a normal Scene, so any objects/lights you create (prior to saving it) should be restored automatically.
Max 2016 (SP1/EXT1)
Win7Pro x64 (SP1). i5-3570K @ 4.4GHz, 8Gb Ram, DX11.
nVidia GTX760 (2GB) (Driver 430.86).